One of the biggest challenges for me in learning how to teach young oboe students was figuring out strategies for teaching reluctant students who did not seem engaged or interested in learning their instrument that day or every day. How can you not want to play oboe today? How is this new fingering not the best thing you have learned all day? Flabbergasting.

And then there is the problem of students wanting to argue every point — not wanting to play the way you are teaching or refusing to use an alternate fingering for examples. I have even had students respond to my corrections by telling me that I am wrong and that they DID play it just the way I said. Um…no. Did you hear yourself? I think I know the difference between slurring and staccato, thank you very much.

While I am all for freedom of expression and playing how YOU like it and even goofing off with your instrument, I am also not going to let a student refuse to learn a technique just because they claim they don’t like how it sounds (especially because this is usually just the excuse for not wanting to try something hard; they almost always end up enjoying the skill after it is comfortable for them). If you are struggling with a student that tends to approach his instrument with a bad attitude, here are some ideas that have helped me.

Enthusiasm Enough for the Both of You

If a student is consistently grumpy about lessons, that is when I try to bring enough energy and excitement for two. Am I naturally a bubbly, energetic person? No. Is this method completely exhausting for me? Yes. But this sort of attitude is so contagious that even the worst mood is softened by it.

So, be excited to see the student. Explain how much you love the piece he is working on and why it is fun for you to play. Be over-the-top happy with what he plays well. Explain even the most basic instructions as though the result is going to be the best thing since sliced bread. You can even be excited about the weather being good. Whatever you do, you set the tone for the lesson and don’t let the student’s attitude determine how the lesson is going to go.

In my experience, this helps the student relax, be more willing to talk with you and work through problems, and be more willing to try new things instead of shutting down because who cares anyway. His teacher cares!

Be More Interesting

We all understand how the monotony of our schedules can be boring and make us lazy at times with what we are doing. It is completely understandable that our students are going to have some hard days in lessons and a lack of interest. Try to mix it up some. Start a different routine for lessons. Add some fun, easy sight-reading at the end of a lesson. Take a break from something they have been working on for a while.

For those students who tend to be constantly bored with lessons, I try extra to be creative with the little things. Use silly analogies. Act out the shape of a line with crouching and/or jumping around. That last one is especially effective if done while they are playing as a sort of “conducting” for them. This ties in with the enthusiasm in my last point (and how exhausting that can be!), and also goes very well with my next point.

Make Them Laugh

I have never considered myself to be particularly witty and neither have I ever had a good memory for jokes to tell later. But I have learned through teaching that I can make a fool of myself pretty well for the students’ benefit! For me this involves things like jumping around the room as explained in the last point, singing with silly sound affects to demonstrate the music, or making up ridiculous settings and stories to describe the mood of the music.

Maybe you do know a lot of great music jokes or you are great at quick, witty comebacks during lessons. Don’t be afraid to use this or any other method of bringing humor into lessons. A student that is laughing always plays better.

One time, early on in my teaching career, a student was being so moody and fighting me on every little thing that he was hardly playing his oboe at all during the lesson, preferring instead to negotiate with me why he shouldn’t have to do any little thing I asked of him. I persisted and it got to the point where this student’s only response was to make a grunting, guttural noise at me in defiance. So, I just growled back and simultaneously leaned sideways to gently shoulder bump this student. My response was so unexpected that the student could not help but laugh (though he was obviously trying not to!) and we both enjoyed a moment of laughing together before he picked up his oboe and played exactly what we were trying to work on without me saying another word!

This was a break-through moment for me and I realized that I needed to not take lessons quite as seriously as had been. If I am stiff and tense, the student will be stiff and tense, and this can manifest itself in some unpleasant ways.

Make Small Talk

One last thing that I have had to work on was prying into my students’ lives a little more. Just simple things like asking what their favorite subjects are or what hobbies they have. This is primarily for those students who are more shy or that you feel like you are not having a good relationship with during lessons. Before and/or after lessons, show interest in them and their lives. Let them know that you like them and are rooting for them to do well, not just on their instrument, but in life.

What are your experiences and tips for teaching reluctant students?

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